Grief

I know you mean the best. But sometimes people just say the dumbest things when they're trying to help.
When someone is experiencing loss, we expect someone to say "I know exactly what you're going through." Or "wow that sucks I wish there was something I could do." Or "wow, i can't even imagine."
honestly the most helpful response so far, seems to be none. Just the response of a look, and maybe a "wow, I don't know what to say". Because honestly that seems to portray the most accurate honest feeling. There are no words. Especially for what I've gone through. There is nothing to say, nothing that will magically make me feel better. So why do people try?
I'm going to be extremely bold and blunt here. You're not special, there's not some magical perfect concoction of words you can put together that will just happen to fall right so that I am able to snap out of it, or maybe even make me feel "better". Sometimes the best thing that one can do is simply say. "I'm sorry. There's nothing else I can say." Because then I at least know you're being honest with me, with yourself, and with the situation. Then after that, the most helpful things seem to be just hanging out. Either letting me cry, talk, or neither. Just being quiet or watching something. If I say I don't know, take that as truth. I dont know. But you know what, I don't have to know. I dont know what is going to make me "feel better", maybe I shouldn't "feel better" right now anyway. I remember during the obituary the pastor (his uncle) said "there's a time for grief, and now is the time for grief. we need to let ourselves greave.."
Everyone grieves in their own way. Some take no time at all, some take years. It also depends on what the grief is for. But so far in my experience it seems people tend to forget what others are dealing with until its directly brought up again or maybe you find someone crying. At this point you're jolted back into reality that "oh yeah, they're still grieving".